The process of coming out is not always easy or safe for LGBTQI+ individuals, especially our Black Trans siblings. In 2023, we are still fighting to eradicate homophobic and transphobic laws to protect our rights as queer individuals and families. However, when I witness the presence of my queer elders who have been out in spite of dehumanizing laws, I am reminded that we have always been here, and we shall remain. Our presence and defiance make me proud to be a Black, Queer, and Nonbinary person.
I was not always proud or out. As a kid in the 90s, people were openly bashing and assaulting people who were out or who they believed were gay. The closest I got to being openly queer or gay, was being a tomboy. In college, I avoided the topic or any conversation around gender or sexuality altogether. When I was in graduate school, I thought more about gender and sexuality by intellectualizing queerness through a lens of policy and Diversity Equity and Inclusion (DEI).
Throughout my childhood, lesbian romance and relationships were often portrayed as a terrible or weird thing. In high school, my best friend’s family was the first openly queer family or relationship that I had seen. Before them, I did not know Black women could romantically love each other, let alone make a life together. During the summer, her mom would play music so loud it would make the floorboards tremble. Then they would dance hand-in-hand or hip-in-hip with deep stares, belly laughs, and adoration.
I came out in my late-20s after my time spent living and teaching English in Brazil to my friend Lara. At the university I was placed we openly had conversations around the rights of Black, Indigenous, LGBTQI+, and disabled people in Brazil; we often incorporated it into lesson plans. However, it did not stop other teachers’ micro-aggressions or racial slurs. While from my perspective gender and sexuality appeared very fluid and accepted in Brazil, it was still dangerous to be outwardly queer beyond Carnaval or Pride. Lara and her girlfriend would be the second Black lesbian relationship that I witnessed in real time. We spent a lot of time talking about sexuality, queerness, and abusive family dynamics, so it made sense that she would be the first person I told.
I now find myself, as Amber Abundance says, “rather cozy” here in this queer Chicago community. My photo series, Familial Flowers, is a love letter to Black and Brown Queer and Trans families. I celebrate how Queer and Trans relationships define family. The five families featured sat with me for 30 minutes in Humboldt Park to take portraits and talk about family, community, and love.
To all the Non-binary, Trans, and Questioning Black and Brown youth: you have the right to exist, to take up space. To Mama Sherry who has shown up as her full self and through that consistently reminds me to show up as myself. To Lara for showing me what it means to fight for your lesbian love. To those who have yet to see themselves as LGBTQI+ or part of a queer family, this is for you, too.
We may not always have the language for who we are, but we are, nonetheless. Happy pride today, and every day.
CeeJaye (she/her), Hasan (he/him), and Naomi (she/her)
![Image: CeeJaye, Hasan, and Naomi sit on a bench in in Humboldt Park. CeeJaye wears blue jeans, a bright yellow t-shirt, a multi-colored headwrap, and large hoop earrings. Hasan and Naomi wear black t-shirts and pants. CeeJaye, smiling, sits with both arms resting on the bench above Naomi and Hasan's head. Behind them, at a distance across a field of yellowed grass, are white tents. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_0745-1024x684.jpg)
“Family means chosen, and the biggest thing is safety. Part of why my chosen family has been chosen is that I can be my most authentic self.”
CeeJaye
![Image: Naomi smiles and plays with a white sheet that is tied between two bushes above her head. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_0647-1024x684.jpg)
![Image: CeeJaye, Naomi, and Hasan sits on grass in front of a white sheet in the park. Hasan, sitting in CeeJaye's lap, is looking at the ground. Naomi plays with a small bouquet of white flowers. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_0547-2-1-1024x684.jpg)
![CeeJaye, Hasan, and Naomi hold hands in a circle, laughing in a Chicago park. Behind them is a white sheet that is clipped between two bushes and white tents. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_0607-1024x684.jpg)
“Queer love is the softest type of love. I try to put more softness and tenderness into my queer relationships, whether it be friendships or otherwise, because it is always assumed we lead with the lusty component of everything in life.”
CeeJaye
Josey (she/her) and Johnny (he/him)
![Image: Josey (left) and Johnny (right) are learning in front of a tree in Humboldt Park, turned away from each other with their arms touching each other. Josey is dressed in a blue dress and a black leather belt around her waist. She is wearing black glasses, a white pearl necklace and star earrings. She is holding a journal and a pen. Johnny is dressed in a gray short-sleeved henley shirt and gray slacks with a black leather belt. He wears white glasses and a silver necklace. He is looking down at a small laptop in his hand. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_0324-1024x684.jpg)
“We met almost 13 years ago, CTA. I was coming home from work and I saw her on the train platform, right? And, I thought, who’s this pretty girl? I should say something to her. What am I going to say? Then she taps me on the shoulder and I’m like, ‘Oh, what’s going on? and she asks, ‘Do you play guitar?’”
Johnny
“Well, we needed a guitar player.” – Josey
![Image: Josey and Johnny hold hands and smile at each other. Photo by Tonal Simmons](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_0413-684x1024.jpg)
![Image: Josey and Johnny put their foreheads together and smile with eyes closed. They each wear a pair of headphones. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_0246-1024x684.jpg)
![Image: Josey and Johnny sit on a white sheet in a field. Josey is reclining against Johnny as he rests his chin on her cheek. Photo by Tonal Simmons](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_0201-684x1024.jpg)
“I appreciate your intelligence, your ambition, and your emotional maturity.” – Josey
“I appreciate your patience, first and foremost. I appreciate your empathy. You are the most caring person I have ever met. You definitely showed me something I didn’t think existed.” – Johnny
Taryn (they/them), Vivi (she/they), and Suyan (she/they)
![Taryn (left) and Vivi (right) kiss Suyan's cheeks as they hold her up between them. Suyan has a big grin on her face. Taryn's thick and long dreadlocks obscure part of their face while Vivi's hair obscures her face completely. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_0181-2-1024x684.jpg)
“We used to go on full moon bike rides. We were friends first and in the community first. Then when I was moving back from California, and we reconnected at a conference. It was a wrap from there. Bikes are what introduced us.”
Taryn
![Taryn, Suyan, and Vivi sit on an off-white sheet in a field in Humboldt Park, smiling at the camera. They hold a bouquet of flowers. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_9972-2-1024x684.jpg)
“Safety, family means safety, and the possibility of working through any obstacle because you have safe, loving, and nurturing people around you.”
Vivi
![Image: Suyan sits on Taryn's shoulders as Vivi and Taryn huddle together in a close embrace. All three are smiling big at the camera, while Vivi holds a bouquet of flowers. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_0031-684x1024.jpg)
![Image: Vivi and Taryn swing Suyan by their arms in between them. All three are smiling big and laughing. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_0087-684x1024.jpg)
“The ability to be your full self.”
Taryn
Janet (she/her), David (he/him), Sophia (she/her), and Jesse (he/him)
![Janet, David, Sophia, and Jesse stand together on a boardwalk in front of a pond in Humboldt Park. Janet and David stand behind Sophia and Jesse, all four are smiling at the camera. Janet wears clear green glasses, has septum and nostril piercings, and wears her hair braided with teal extensions. David has a full beard and mustache, and wears his hair cut close to his head. Sophia wears cat-eye clear glasses. Her hair is long and she smiles at the camera. Jesse has curly hair, wears a patterned button-up shirt and smiles big at the camera. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_9421-1024x684.jpg)
“Family is about the people you feel safe with. Safety is the top reason I would call anyone family. Family is about spending time at the park. Or making memories. They are everything to me.”
Janet
![Image: Janet and Sophia lean against an iron fence smiling at the camera. Janet holds a small bouquet of roses and baby's breath. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_9417-684x1024.jpg)
![Image: David wraps his forearms around Jesse's shoulder in a close embrace. They both smile at the camera. Photo by Tonal Simmons](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_9404-684x1024.jpg)
![Image: Sophia (right) and Jesse (left) stand in front of a tree in a park, smiling for the camera. Sophia wears jeans and a black top. Jesse wears a patterned button-up shirt and khaki slacks. Photo by Tonal Simmons.](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TSC_9357-1024x684.jpg)
“I always felt safe. There wasn’t anything I couldn’t question or bring up without backlash. There are no secrets. I can express my feelings openly. She makes me smile—every little thing. I always think about her. I knew I was going to marry her.”
David
![](https://sixtyinchesfromcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/tonal-simmons-edited-1024x1024.jpeg)
About the Photographer and Writer: Tonal Simmons, they/them, is a Black queer non-binary artist who is a writer, photographer and painter. Their photography and painting seeks to examine the similarities between flowers, growth, and Black queerness. While their writing explores the idea of DEI within art, creating w/chronic conditions, & lack of access to art for Black and brown creatives. You can check out their personal work at www.tonalscorner.com